Tag Archive
While You Were Excited For The Return Of That Decent Hour Of NBC Programming
Lil’ Wayne will begin his jail term today after a brief postponement to have dental surgery. Maybe I’ve seen too many cartoons, but I’m guessing the dentist was his mom in a mustache and I’d check his teeth for a file.
Jake proposed to Vienna in the season finale of The Bachelor. Was that the...
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While You Were Letting The Canadians Win Cause You Felt Bad
The Canadian hockey team beat the United States 3-2 in overtime to win the gold medal in the final event of the 2010 Olympics. Bastards… wanna go double or nothing on March tourism revenue?
As for the final medal count, the US led the way with 37 medals, 7 more than Germany, but Canada managed...
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While You Were Buried In Sixty Eight Feet Of Snow At This Point
John Mayer apologized for being “an A-hole” at a concert at Madison Square Garden last night. He added, “From now on, I will only ever be a d-bag and a bit of a prick.”
The Canadian women’s Olympic hockey team won the gold medal last night and celebrated with beer, champagne, and cigars on the...
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While You Were Eagerly Awaiting Conan O’Brien’s Next Tweet
It’s being rumored that The Office star John Krasinski is in the running for the lead in Captain America. If he gets the role, most of the movie will just feature light sexual tension with The Invisible Woman.
The students at Ole Miss are voting on a new mascot, and beloved Star Wars Rebel strategist...
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While You Were Starting To Wish The Olympics Were Over By Now
It was revealed that former Vice President Dick Cheney suffered his fifth heart attack on Monday, which is traditionally the diamond heart attack.
Charlie Sheen entered rehab as a “preventative measure.” Hopefully that just means preventing another season of Two and a Half Men.
Pictures were released from a sexy photo shoot for Interview Magazine with...
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While You Were Wishing You Actually Hated Any Canadians So You Could Gloat
The U.S. Men’s Hockey Team concluded their Preliminary Round with a 5-3 win over Canada. Needless to say, I’ve been blasting this all morning (language NFSW).
Bode Miller won a gold medal in the Super Combined, giving him a medal of each color in the Olympics this year. He then immediately won a second gold...
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While You Were Rooting For Another Even Clippier Office
Avatar has officially passed up Titanic to become the highest-grossing film in domestic box office history after already setting a new international box office record last week. The film is slated to break baseball’s all-time home run record sometime next week.
Mo’Nique will host Shaquille O’Neal Presents: All-Star Comedy Jam, a standup special on Showtime....
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While You Were Deciding Which Show Not To Watch, The Grammys Or The Pro Bowl
Beyonce won six Grammy Awards Sunday night, the most ever by a female artist, including the coveted “Pop Star Whose Name Your Mom Gets Right” Award.
20-year-old Taylor Swift took home the Album of the Year Grammy Award, becoming the youngest artist ever to do so. She opened her acceptance speech by unexpectedly yelling “Suck...
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While You Were Cheering For The Saints’ Nine-Year-Old Kicking Prodigy
The Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints will meet in Super Bowl XLIV. Personally, I think the Colts are a team of destiny, on account of their having a much better defense.
The Hope For Haiti Now telethon raised a remarkable $58 million this weekend after their shrewd decision to just show Avatar.
The cast of...
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While You Were Finding Zero Google Hits For The Phrase “Team Leno”
The Conan exit deal is official: $32 million for Consie, $12 million in severance for his staff. Not that he didn’t still get a raw deal from NBC, but I’m also not quiiiiite sure the Facebook photos are still necessary. (P.S. – No one with internet isn’t on Team Coco).
Quincy Jones and Lionel Richie...
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While You Were Thinking There’s No Way Idol Will Ever Get Repetitive
As rumored, 500 Days Of Summer director Marc Webb has signed on to direct the upcoming Spider-Man reboot. Eli Arachnid and Comicz McSpidermovie will executive produce.
Amy Winehouse avoided jailtime by pleading guilty to common assault and disorder this morning. Fortunately, England doesn’t have a “three strikes and you’re out” policy; instead, she’s still fine...
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While You Were Honoring Dr. King By Spending 21 Straight Hours In Pajamas
Conan O’Brien is close to signing a $40 million deal to walk away from the Tonight Show. I’m starting to think — and bear with me here, it might sound totally crazy — that NBC really screwed up. I don’t know, I’m just throwing some wild theories out there.
Barack Obama’s State Of The Union...
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While You Were Having One Of Those “Let’s Pretend Pop Culture Matters This Week” Weeks
Ivan Reitman confirmed he will direct a third Ghostbusters movie and hopes to begin shooting it this year. He failed to comment on whether the movie will be “odds-defyingly good” or “really disappointing.”
Beyonce and Jay-Z were Hollywood’s highest-earning couple in 2009, beating out Brad & Angelina and the surprise second-place duo of Harrison Ford...
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While You Were Beginning Every Conversation With “How ‘Bout This [F-Word] Leno Thing?”
Balloon Boy dad Richard Heene began his 90-day jail sentence today. That should give VH1 more than enough time to have 4-5 pitches ready for him the minute he walks out.
The Vatican paper called Avatar a “spiritual dud”. To salt the wounds, the Vatican paper also called The Squeakquel “The New Jesus”.
A paparazzo struck...
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While You Were Hoping Gary Coleman’s Recovery Has Reversed The Curse Of 2009
Twilight: New Moon won four People’s Choice Awards, including “Favorite Movie” and the equally-coveted “Favorite Vampire Movie”.
Tiger Woods’ yacht, called Privacy, temporarily left its Florida dock Wednesday. This was first reported after hundreds of photos of the Privacy leaving dock surfaced, along with seven angles of HD video of the Privacy and recordings of...
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While You Were Gearing Up For The My Secret Identity DVD Release
Katy Perry and Russell Brand got engaged while on vacation in India, marking the first time in history that a giant, painted street elephant was able to roll his eyes. Also, they are perfect for each other like unrelated identical twins.
Lindsay Lohan has accused ex-BFF Patrick “Pootie” Aufdenkamp of stealing from her, while...
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While You Were Selling Your Stock In Plastic Zero-Eye Novelty Sunglasses
The domestic box office posted a record-high $10.61 billion in 2009, up more than 8% from 2008. And just think — if the Feds had gotten to that guy in the Bronx responsible for copying the Wolverine bootleg sooner, that figure could’ve easily surpassed $10.61001 billion.
Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves welcomed a baby girl...
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While You Were Looking Forward To The Iran Summit Purely For Daily Show Reasons
Actor and subject of countless “are you related?” inquiries Dennis Hopper was rushed to the hospital for flu-like symptoms. No word on whether the symptoms are severe or if this was just a precautionary measure because he’s a celebrity and it’s still 2009.
Matt LeBlanc will play himself in an actually promising-sounding Showtime comedy called...
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While You Were Honoring Yom Kippur With A DVRed “Curb”
The MJ concert documentary This Is It has already sold out hundreds of screenings across the U.S. and the U.K. They must really be getting the word out about Michael Jackson somehow…radio ads or something?
The country of France has appealed to the United States asking for Roman Polanski’s release. In protest, the cafeteria in...
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While You Were Helping Yourself To A Nice Big Breakfast Of Religious Indifference
Director Roman Polanski was arrested immediately upon landing in the Zurich airport and could be sent back to the U.S. The fact that he was arrested for his decades-old overseas sex charge still wasn’t half as surprising as Switzerland just being in the news for any reason.
Sources are again claiming that a Friends movie...
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